iPad is the greatest piece of technology


Last weekend, Steve Jobs made my wife, Kay, very angry.

Steve Jobs is the CEO of Apple, which manufactures computers, the iPod, the iPhone and as of Saturday, the new iPad.

Saturday marked the first day that the Apple iPad was available in stores — and basically the only time for a while, as many places sold out of the device the same day. Apple sold 300,000 iPads on launch day. They did not sell one to me.

This is not by choice. Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that I am an official Apple fan boy. If there’s a picture of an Apple with a bite taken out of it on the product, there’s a pretty good chance that I want it.

And boy do I want the Apple iPad.

When it was announced a few months ago, I sat home on my lunch break watching terrible live feeds from the event online, anxious to see this new product that Apple was unveiling.

My wife was thrilled (not so much) when she got home that evening when she was instantly told all about this amazing new device. As she stared at me with a blank look on her face as if to say, “I don’t care about the stupid iPad, let’s talk about ***anything else right now,” I muttered one of the biggest lies that has ever come out of my mouth.

“It’s no big deal, I don’t even want it anyway,” I said.

It was almost the truth. Really, I didn’t want it — at that particular moment on that particular day. That’s because it hadn’t been released yet. I didn’t want it then, but I ***did want it when it finally went on sale.

I remember last summer when Apple announced the new iPhone 3GS. Kay and I had discussed the iPhone for quite a while, and it was determined that I finally would be able to get one. Apple held their keynote presentation introducing the new iPhone at 1 p.m. that day. It was available for presale an hour after the event. When Kay got home that night, I told her I had ordered my new iPhone.

“Already?” she said. Apparently when we decided that I could get the iPhone, we decided that meant at some point in the future. I thought it meant as soon as humanly possible.

So I got my iPhone, which was the second Apple product I had purchased in two years, counting my MacBook Pro. And I told another Apple lie.

“This is all I need, I won’t be buying another Apple product for a long time,” I said.

But at that time there was no iPad.

And now that the iPad has been released, I feel it is very important to me personally to acquire one of my own.

So I know what you’re asking — what is so great about the iPad anyway? Well, let me tell you, it does all kinds of different things, like access the Internet and the Apple App Store, which currently has hundreds of thousands of applications which will work on the iPad, in addition to the iPhone.

“But can’t you do all of that on your iPhone?” you ask. Yes, I can. But the iPhone’s screen is pretty small — only 3.5 inches diagonally. The iPad’s screen is much bigger, measuring 9.7 inches.

“Alright, so why don’t you just use your laptop?” you ask.

So now you’re just being difficult. But the iPad has something that my laptop and my iPhone doesn’t have — an iBooks app, which allows me to read digital copies of books on my device.

“So aren’t actual books a lot cheaper than the iPad?”

Apparently you have talked to my wife recently.

The point is that this is a brand new piece of technology, and because I don’t have it, it is also the greatest piece of technology in the world.

And I want it. And when I get it, I’ll finally be happy, and no longer need to purchase another Apple product.

I promise.


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