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Hi! Buy my product! I’m yelling so loud!


Who’s the most recognizable person on television?

Barack Obama? Wrong.

Peyton Manning? Nope.

Oprah? Close.

I’ll give you a clue. The capital letters mean he’s yelling. And by clue I mean I’m going to give you the answer outright.

HI! BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT (advertised product that’s too good to be true product: Oxi-clean, wonder mop, American flags that can withstand the forces of a wind tunnel, the super slider maker, etc.). YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED THIS PRODUCT.

Now do you know the most recognizable person on the tube? I’m talking of course about Billy Mays, the pit bull-resembling spokesperson for products that are so amazing, they aren’t even available in stores. The man who can offer you, for only $19.95, not one of several items (again, insert any product known to man), but two, *and the mini version for those hard to reach spots!

*Only if you call in the next ten minutes of course.

Billy isn’t playing. He’s serious about his products. Why else would he yell so loud? In fact, not many people know this, but Billy Mays is the only person you can still hear with the volume on your television turned all the way down.

But that’s not all of Billy’s magic.

Nope. His marketing empire is stretching to radio. As an avid listener of ESPN Radio for background noise while working, I can’t avoid Mr. Mays. ESPN Radio has taken note of the marketing genius that is Billy Mays and made him the spokesperson for I’m not sure what that is, but it must be good.

Come to think about it, when I see the products Billy Mays is selling on TV, I usually have the same reaction – I’m not sure what it is, but it must be good.

Why else would he yell so loud?

At first I thought he was yelling so loudly because he may have a hearing condition. That is until I saw and heard him hollering about a hearing aid shaped like a Bluetooth headset. He called it the ideal hearing assistance device, which means if in fact he were hearing impaired, he would use it and wear it in all of his spots.

That spot where he’s trying to move the hearing aids is hilarious. If that thing amplifies sound as well as he says, than I don’t know how anyone in the commercial wears it around him. It has to be comparable to the infamous stethoscope scream.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Is there anyway to avoid Billy Mays.

Yes there is. Shutting off the TV and, thanks to ESPN, the radio, but I have a better idea.

Make the most out of Billy’s market saturation. Think about it. College kids playing drinking games to his commercials, marketing firm executives welcoming Billy for conferences on strategy and inventors utilizing his abilities as a salesperson to get their products moving in the market.

There’s no doubt about it. We can all learn something from Billy.

Why else would he yell so loud?


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