September 21, 2014
Off the record

Bitter about Twitter

By Jim Grisso|Special to the Independent
Email Jim
Posted 3/11/09

I know I’m an old-fashioned sort of guy. But when I saw this congressman on national TV the other day slouched in his chair in the hallowed Halls of Congress, his cell phone glued to his ear, having a good time and obviously not paying attention to the matter at hand (he wasn‘t the only one), I got the message loud and clear how our government works.

It doesn’t.

Why? There are many reasons, but TWITTER might just be the most recent to join the fiasco.

What I witnessed was this full-of-himself congressman who is supposed to be representing his constituents twittering during the President’s address to Congress.

I admit: one more time - I’m out of touch with the modern, technological world. This was my first exposure to the latest save-the-world phenomenon - twitter.

So, my ignorant, but curious self, decided to find about twitter. When I did this, I came on to another new word: TWEET. You see, the only way to twitter is to express yourself in tweets.

I know this is going to sound stupid, but the word tweet immediately reminded me of the song “Rockin’ Robin” by Bobby Day.

The lyrics go something like this: “He rocks in the treetop all day long…hoppin’ and a-hoppin’ and singin’ the song…all the little birds on J-Bird St. love to hear the robin goin’ tweet, tweet, tweet…Rockin’ robin (tweet, tweet, tweet)” etc.

FYI - the robin is the official state bird of Michigan, but I’m sure its version of tweet is totally different than the new pop-culture technological tweet.

First and foremost, to become a qualified twitterer you have to be obsessed with sharing your life with whomever might be interested, or for that matter, with people who don’t give a damn. But, wait! Next I discover companies twitter as a means of marketing. One such firm is Dunkin’ Donuts (now that really frosts me).

If you are still interested in twitter, read on. If not, go outside in search of the robin, and if you see one, have faith that spring is near - like July.

First of all, understand, based on what I learned about twitter, the whole concept initially was based on telling people what you were doing at any given moment. They called it social networking.

Think back to the aforementioned congressman who just had to tell some poor taxpaying souls who were paying his salary what he was doing at that very moment. He was engrossed in the world of twitter.

I got to thinking about twitter/tweet, which, in my case can be dangerous. At any given moment, I could be sitting on the john, getting fired from my job, or doing something really stupid (which I am generally inclined to do). And I’m supposed to tell everyone about this?!

And then I thought about the “140 character rule.” What that says is you can type no more than 140 characters per twitter. Here’s my twitter to you in 140 characters (count ‘em): What am I doing right now? It’s really not important. And in the whole perspective of things, it’s none of your business. Beyond that, why am I wasting time twittering?

The word on the street of technological communications is that twitter is the next coming of something. If you know what that is, please e-mail at blah, blah, blah.

Or, you can always reach me by blog, iPod, text, voicemail, U.S. Mail, FedEx, UPS, Morris code, mental telepathy, carrier pigeon, or in Michigan, by rockin’ robin.

Tweet, tweet, tweet.

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